Rex: Lost in Trenton
by mybrowneyes
Summary: Rex enlists Dr. Phil to help find his lost family. Response to Lost Challenge on PP


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I don't own anything. This is a response to the Lost Challenge on PP.

Rosa Week 19 Challenge

Rex: Lost in Trenton

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Here I sit watching 'The Dr. Phil Show' while Stephanie is out chasing those crazy loons that keep skipping out on their court dates but it puts 'Cheerios' , raisins, and donuts in my fuzzy little cheeks. My ass has a nice plumpness about it. It really jiggles when I work out with Richard Simmons 'Sweating to the Oldies'. It feels good. It's my jiggle. All mine.

When Mr. Bad-Ass in Black is in the house or me and Steph are there in those luxury quarters, I get veggies. Mostly carrots. I like the crunch. It's good for tartar control on my teeth.

Dr. Phil was talking about families. Particularly, families which have been separated by circumstances out of their control and helping to bring them back together. I don't remember much about my birth parents. I think I have my mother's eyes and my father's tail, but I can't be sure. I seem to recollect brothers and sisters but my little hamster brain can only hold so much information. I pretty sure I was born in Trenton, that's where Stephanie purchased me at 'Pets R Us'.

"Come on, Rex. Think with that little pea brain of yours. Try and remember your family. Come on. I know I can do this. I just have to believe!"

Searching the deep recesses of my mind, I think it's coming back! I've tried to forget the trauma after all these years of being ripped from the warm cocoon of my family. Once minute I was happy in the circle of my family of my Mom Carol, Dad Mike, my Aunt Alice who was Mom's younger sister but she married Dad's Dad so she was also my Grandma Alice, Brothers Greg, Peter, and Bobby. Sisters Marcia, Jan, and Cindy. I also think I had a Cousin Oliver who was a cross-dresser, but he wasn't mentioned much. Also, Dad had a brother Sam who was a traveling hamster food salesman. We got lots of samples of the new foods as they came out. I think we were taste testers. We lived in a two story hamster house with blue tubes running between floors and a big wheel in the living room. I want my family back and the person to do this is DR. PHIL, my hero. He likes to help people and I bet this gets ratings.

So let me wiggle myself out this crack and fire-up Stephanie's laptop.

**To: DrPhil at Drphil . com**

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**From: Rex at Bombshellcentral . com**

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**Re: Lost in Trenton**

**Dear Dr. Phil:**

**First let me say I watch your show every chance I get. My favorite show to date was how you helped that man from Wichita overcome his desire to dress as an ice cream cone. Everyday being a different flavor. He really freaked out in February when there were only 28 and had to decide what two flavors he couldn't be in the month. I was really happy that you gave an update on him.**

**He's happy living in a monastery raising Spider Monkeys. At least he's not an ice cream cone anymore. You really solved that problem.**

**I hoping you can help me. First, let me tell you my name is Rex. I'm a hamster living in a soup can in the thriving Metropolis of Trenton, New Jersey. That's not my problem. I've lost touch with my family and I want to find them. All of them! No matter how long or how far I will have to travel, I want to find every last relative of mine and live as one big happy family like 'The Waltons'. Room won't be a problem, Stephanie, the one who I live with, has this boyfriend. He has a big building on Haywood with lots of floors so we can all be together.**

**Please help me Dr. Phil! I'm lost without my family. You're the only one who can help me. Jerry Springer wouldn't return my telephone calls.**

**Your Biggest Fan,**

**Rex Plum, Lost in Trenton.**

"Let me do a spell check and re-read this sucker. Sounds good to me."

Moving the mouse to 'Send' and PRESTO! Dr. Phil should be receiving my e-mail anytime now after it winds its way through the World Wide Web.

"Boy, I'm tired. Hopping on those keys with this little extra padding on my rump is hard work. Maybe, I should work out also with that muscle guy Gilad. He's always working out in great locales. Those girls are nice, too!"

Every night, once Stephanie and Mr. Cuba shut the bedroom door and I hear the moans of "Babe", "Ranger", "More", "Faster", and "Harder", I know it's safe to check the e-mail. Finally, after almost two weeks, Dr. Phil wrote back.

"I'm scared to read it. What if he won't help? Can I except the rejection? That would leave Maury. I guess it would work as last resort because I want to know

"Who's Your Daddy?". Ok, let's open this."

**To: Rex at Bombshellcentral . com**

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**From: DrPhil at Drphil . com**

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**Re: Lost in Trenton**

**Dear Rex Plum:**

**Thank you for your e-mail. I've never received one from a hamster before, but this is an amazing place we live in. I will be happy to help you reunite your family. I will be in Philadelphia in two weeks for a signing of my new book,**

**'Dr. Phil: So You Don't Like Veggies. (Let Me Help You Find Your Inner Vegetable)'. We'll do an interview at your local TV station then to get the word out to your family you're searching for them. Please send me a DNA sample so we can match you with your hamster relatives.**

**I look forward to hearing from you and meeting you soon.**

**Sincerely,**

**Dr. Phil**

**P. S. send your letter to the address below marking the envelop: P &C: Rex, Lost in Trenton so it comes to me immediately.Dr. Phil show**

**5482 Wilshire Boulevard #1902  
Los Angeles, CA 90036Lost in Trenton****Lost in Trenton**

Addressing an envelope as quickly as his little hamster paws would let him write and attaching a stamp, he plucked out a whisker and set a little extra brown gift for Dr. Phil and sealed it. Dragging it down the stairs in his little hamster mouth, he put his letter in the outgoing mail basket. So no one would see his letter, he slid his envelope to the bottom of the basket and scampered quickly back up to Stephanie's apartment.

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Two Weeks Later:

Rex was sitting in a chair, powder on his nose to cut down on the shine, next to his idol, Dr. Phil.

"Today on the Dr. Phil Show, I'm going to assist this little fellow," pointing to the blue chair where Rex was sitting up on his back legs (The TV camera came in for a close-up), "find his family. Let me introduce Rex who is Lost in Trenton without his family. He was purchased about three years ago from 'Pets R Us' here in your beautiful Trenton. If any of you hamsters think you might be related to this little guy, please contact the Dr. Phil show with a DNA sample. If we find a match, then we will reunite your hamster family. For every DNA sample received, Dr. Phil will send a signed copy of my new book '_Dr. Phil: So You Don't Like Veggies. (Let Me Help You Find Your Inner Vegetable)'._

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Two Weeks Later after that at Rangeman:

"Babe, what are all these hamsters doing here from the Dr. Phil Show?" Ranger was in the Haywood Street lobby of Rangeman. "Yesterday, two more were delivered. That's 30 hamsters in the last 5 days."

Stephanie was shaking her head, "I don't know Ranger. I called and was told by a secretary of the Dr. Phil Show, Rex was looking for his family."

In the corner, Rex was waving, "Mom, I do have your eyes. Welcome to your new home!"


End file.
